Алиса в Стране чудес / Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland

'That depends on where you want to go,' said the Cat.

'I don't care where,' said Alice.

'Then it doesn't matter which way you go,' said the Cat.

'I want to get somewhere,' Alice added as an explanation.

'Oh, you will do that,' said the Cat, 'if you only walk long enough.'

Alice tried another question.

'What people live here?'

'In this direction,' the Cat said, 'lives a Hatter: and in that direction, lives a March Hare. Visit them: they're both mad.'

'But I don't want to see mad people,' Alice remarked.

'Oh, we're all mad here,' said the Cat. 'I'm mad. You're mad.'

'How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.

'You must be,' said the Cat, 'you are here.'

'And how do you know that you're mad?' she went on.

'A dog is not mad,' said the Cat, 'Do you believe that?'

'I suppose so,' said Alice.

'Well, then,' the Cat went on, 'you see, a dog growls when it's angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased. Now I growl when I'm pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad. Do you play croquet with the Queen today?'

'With pleasure,' said Alice, 'but I do not have an invitation.'

'You'll see me there,' said the Cat, and vanished.

Alice was not much surprised at this. While she was looking at the place where the cat was, it suddenly appeared again.

'And what became of the baby?' said the Cat. 'I forgot to ask.'

'It turned into a pig,' Alice quietly said.

'Of course,' said the Cat, and vanished again.

Alice waited a little, but the Cat did not appear, and after a minute or two she walked on in the direction in which the March Hare lived.

'I saw hatters,' she said to herself; 'the March Hare is more interesting.'

As she said this, she looked up, and there was the Cat again. It was sitting on a branch of a tree.

'Did you say pig, or fig?' said the Cat.

'I said pig,' replied Alice; 'can you appear and vanish not so fast, please?'

'All right,' said the Cat; and this time it vanished quite slowly. It began with the end of the tail, and ended with the grin. Its grin remained some time.

'Well! I saw a cat without a grin,' thought Alice; 'but a grin without a cat! How curious!'

She went farther and she saw the house of the March Hare. The chimneys were like ears and the roof was thatched with fur. It was a large house, and she ate a bit of the mushroom, and raised herself to about two feet high.

There was a table under a tree in front of the house, and the March Hare and the Hatter were having tea: a Dormouse was sitting between them, fast asleep. The March Hare and the Hatter were using it as a cushion. They were resting their elbows on it, and talking over its head.

'Very uncomfortable for the Dormouse,' thought Alice; 'but it's asleep, so, I suppose it doesn't mind.'

The table was large, but they were sitting together at one corner of it: 'No room! No room!' they cried out when they saw Alice.

'There's plenty of room!' said Alice indignantly, and she sat down in a large arm-chair at one end of the table.

'Have some wine,' the March Hare said.